A Long Way From Anything

A little mixture of USMC pride and Christianity here (I found it at Military Moms Online):


"Chaplain's Thought

Last Thursday morning I was one of more than 300 runners in the National Security Agency (NSA) Armed Forces Week 5K run (Ft. Meade, MD). It was pretty crowded at the start, but things thinned out after about five minutes or so, and I took my bearings. Perhaps 200 yards ahead of me was a group of maybe 8 Marines or so who were obviously running together. I decided that a good goal would be to beat them, which seemed reasonable as I am a macho Air Force Chaplain and they were only a bunch of United States Marines. I kept them in sight for the next couple of miles, but the longer the race went on, the younger those guys got. It became apparent to me in the last half mile that I was not going to catch them, and I resigned myself to finishing well behind them. Then I noticed that one of their teammates was struggling and was gradually dropping off the pace. I panted out a word of encouragement as I caught him and realized that he was not about to give up. Within 100 yards of the finish line I saw a strange sight. The entire group of Marines made a U-turn in the road and were running back towards me. As they ran past me I noted their well-chiseled muscles and the determined set of their jaws. I glanced over my shoulder in time to see them rally around their buddy to provide the emotional support of the team so that they could all finish together. I was impressed. No way would they leave a struggling comrade behind. As I entered the finishing chute I murmured a prayer, "God, I'm glad those guys are on our side." And so it was that I learned a theological truth from the U.S. Marines that is as vivid as any my seminary professors ever taught,

"If anyone sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
John 3:17,18.

Last Thursday I witnessed "a few good men" in action. They reminded me of the strength of being a team, and that words without actions are pretty much useless.

Thanks Marines.

A message from Chaplain Johnson,
LtCol, USAF"

An argument I wrote for my Ethics class:


Argument for Mitigated Moral Relativism:

Society has moral absolutes that were granted when the social contract was formed. These rights are based in the tacit consent that the members of a society give. It is important to remember that the rights imparted in the social contract are ones that secure property, livelihood, freedom, and physical protection from harm. Commonly labeled as “natural” or “inalienable” rights, these moral rights are inherent claims in most cultures. These rights are functions by which society in general can function and without these rights, there would be no society, only anarchy. The rest of the moral codes in a societal relationship are culturally relative and are determined by the moral progress in society.

Even with these moral absolutes in place, the rights are subject to minor change oftentimes due to the coldest of necessities: survival. That is not to say that a society would feel it pertinent to violate natural rights on a daily basis, but that it would sometimes feel justified in violating them for sufficient cause. As an example, reference the ancient Greek policy of leaving handicapped children to die of exposure. This action was never entered into gladly, yet they realized that there was no place in a barbaric world for someone who is disabled. These actions are not always morally correct, but are demanded by the situation with no escape possible. What is often considered abominable in our modern society (i.e. infanticide, rejection of the elderly, cannibalism, etc…) has often been a common practice in more savage societies. Always keep in mind that societies function in a way that is necessary for continuation of the gene pool. In a cruel environment, a society is forced to be cruel. It cannot afford the price that is extracted by acting as if they lived in a civilized western country.

Rights that exist outside of the realm of inalienables are subject to relativism. Often more concerned with less important aspects of life, they are not necessary for the continued survival of society and are not therefore covered under the social contract.

Well, I just wanted to post today to let the two people who read this blog know that I'm not dead, I've just been really busy. Not so much with school (beacuse dear god in heaven it's easy), but because I've been thinking a lot. Reformulating a lot of my opinions. I've really been getting into this sort of dialectic self-conversation. Maybe people think I'm strange, sitting there talking to myself. eh. who cares? Anyway, I will post more about what I've been thinking tomorrow. Right now, I'm tired and I hurt a lot from 3 hours of Judo (yay Judo!) and I'm taking a loooong hot shower and going to bed. So there. Tomorrow, It's up at 7am to run a few more miles. I feel good and I hope everyone else feels the same way. Maybe there is some purpose to life! :)


OO-RAH!

Something that bugs me:

When you're looking at porn, and you take a link that says "busty blonde college girl" and you end up here. I mean, she doesn't look anywhere near 20! With those dark circles, she looks like some kind of crack whore!

Regrets are the salt in the wounds of my life. Every so often (about every week or so) I find myself going through the mistakes I've made in my life and trying to figure out where I went wrong. I've got most of them figured out...but that doesn't help. People say that everything fades with time. Yet the only thing I feel is that I'm getting farther and farther away from that point where I could have done the right thing and not screwed up. These nights (and oh yes, they are always nights) are always the ones where I'm sitting alone by myself pondering life in it's infinitesimal idiosyncrasies. I wonder if people are right and eventually these wounds heal with time... or will they just continue on the path that they are always on. Maybe that's another reason for joining the Marine Corps. So I never have to truly be alone ever again, I can always have a huge family surrounding me. I can always feel supported and re-inforced in my decisions by this body of men. To again quote Neal Stephenson:

"Shaftoe's tattoos were obscured by civilian clothes and his haircut grown out. But he only had to look a Marine in the eye from a stone's throw, and that Marine would recognize him for a brother in need and open any gate for him, break any regulation, probably even lay down his life." - Cryptonomicon p.610

Maybe that's the true meaning of life. Finding a way not to feel so alone. Or maybe it's more of an "us against them" mentality. So maybe it's not just the lack of loneliness, but the availability of an enemy as well... ???

"The General was running for president, and in order to win he was going to start throwing battles just to make F.D.R. look bad, and blaming it all on the Marines. And if that didn't work he'd come back to the States and stage a coup d'etat. Which would be beaten back, aginst enormous odds, by the United States Marine Corps. Semper Fi!" - Cryptonomicon p.610

So a report on my first day of school in UWG:

Overall, I like it. Everyone seems so young though! My teachers are pretty cool and I thoroughly enjoyed the three hours I spent doing Judo this evening. Something weird did happen though. There's a girl in my German class that was in a German class with me in High School. I didn't recognize her or even know who she was, so after class she comes up and introduces herself. Very strange. It's weird living so close to where I grew up. I keep running into people who went to my HS...I feel like I've changed a lot since then and all they're doing is bringing me back to where I used to be. I really hate that feeling. Because to be honest, I was pretty self-conscious (and dorky, and immature, and just basically pathetic) in HS and I sometimes wish I could just completely forget about it and never see any of those people ever again. I feel like I truly found out who I was after HS and these people are just trying to remind me of someone I don't even know.

So I went and got my hair cut today. What's so special about that you might ask? Simply put, I went to a real barbershop. One where there's only one chair and the guy sits around and chats with his friends. One where he washes your hair sitting up, wraps it in a hot towel, and then gives you a scalp massage with vibrating pads! Very cool! Only $10 too. Only bad part is that he didn't listen to me when I told him how to cut it. So I came home and trimmed it up myself (there is a benefit to having almost no hair). So I'll have to see if everyone laughs at me when I show up at Chris' tomorrow.



Photo from the Alameda Museum's website

Bad news sports fans. I think I've screwed up my knee again. It's not hurting too bad, but I'm gonna take the weekend off anyway. I came home last night from running and iced up my legs. Good ole' 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off. I've read that icing an injury helps but I've also read that a hot bath helps. So I did both. It was actually kinda nice. I sat there on the couch alternating between watching "Pretty Woman" and "History Marvels: Aircraft Carriers". So today, I sit on my ass. Maybe get a haircut or something else mundanely boring.

By the way, do you know that there are events called Ultramarathons. They are 50 or 100 mile marathons! Now that would be cool to do! I seriously doubt that I would ever be able to achieve it (what with my bum knee and all), but it would be cool.

Evening PT:

Running: 1/4 mile - 8 min mile; 50 yds - Sprint; 1/4 mile - 8 min mile; 50 yds - Sprint; 1/4 mile - 8 min mile; 50 yds - Sprint; 1/2 mile - walk
Weight Lifting: Did mostly upper body exercise (worked traps, lats, biceps, triceps, and pecs), did some lunges too.

Morning PT:

Running: 1.5 mile - 8 min mile; 1/2 mile - walk

I took yesterday off because every one of my major muscle groups were hurting. I pretty happy with today's run though. The main problem still lies in my legs though. They just don't like the consistent strain of hoofing it around the track. I did read something that helped though, it was an article called Run Softly, Run Tall and it made me realize that the way I run is horrible. I used to plod around the track. Seemingly trying to pound the pavement into submission. Now I try to land softly on my heels and push off with my toes. This has helped immensely. It tires the hell out of my calves, but I have less knee pain and I'm not burning up as much energy.

Tonight, I do my pullups and situps and do windsprints (Which everyone knows I hate. I hated them years ago in soccer and I hate them still). It's funny. I actually like getting up early and running. I feel good!

Evening PT;

Running: 3/4 miles - 8 min mile; 1/8 mile - 5 min mile; 3/4 mile - 8 min mile; 1/2 mile - walk

I was going to do more stuff tonight, but everything hurts, so I'm taking the night off damnit! Besides, that humidity was killin me! I don't know about everyone else, but it rained here all friggin day. On a side note, I think my 3 mile time is down to about 25 minutes or so...I keep working and maybe I'll eventually hit that 300 PFT score. I need to drop some more fat first though. I know everyone thinks I'm thin, but I could lose about 10 pounds or so (mostly on my thighs). Man that would make pullups so much easier!

Morning PT:

Pullups: 18!! 10
Situps: 40 30
Running: 1/2 mile - walk; 1.5 mile - 8 min mile; 1/2 mile - walk

To see where I stand on the USMC Fitness Standard, visit the Marine Corps Fitness Chart. I keep thinking though, I could ace the Army's PFT. They only have to run two miles! And in about 15 minutes! They don't even have pullups! Seriously though, that's one of the reasons why I don't want to joing the Army. It's too easy. Hell, I could probably get into Ranger School, SF School, and Airborne and get to wear the "Tower of Power", but it wouldn't be worth it. Becuase the Army just ain't trying anymore. It's gotten too PC. To read about it, visit Retired Col. Hackworth's article or for more info, visit The rest of his site.

So I've been reading Socrates' defense by Plato. I've always loved reading Plato, and I've always thought the world of Socrates. However, reading his defense makes me question this. The man did some stupid things. I'll freely admit that he was not likely to receive a fair trial, I'll also admit that the jury mostly slept through it and most of them were uninformed bigots who hated him going into it. But damn! The boy knew how to piss people off! You would think that a man who taught rhetoric would be better at the art of it. Or maybe I'm just not seeing the significance of what he's saying. But if I don't, then I doubt the Athenians did.

So read about it:

PT Today:

Pullups: 16 10 5
Situps: 50 20
Running: 1 mile - 8 min mile; 1/2 mile - 7 min. mile; 1/2 mile - walk

I sincerely hope that my hypthesis concerning my abilities is correct. Maybe it's some sort of revisionist American dream. I think I would be pretty depressed to think that I can't do what I want. Even though I suck at math, I feel that if I took the time to sit down and really work on it, I could be good at it. I'm not saying I could be the equal of Einstein, but I like to think I could pass some advanced Calculus classes.


I keep thinking about my PFT. I figure, each pullup is worth 5 points. I guess that won't make any difference though if I can't pass the running. :)

Man... I'd kill for a good cigar right now... That and some bushmills on ice...drool.

Maybe I am naive, but in the late hours of the evening, I start thinking that maybe I do have the ability to be excellent at anything I try. Kinda similar to what Neal Stephenson writes in Snow Crash:

"Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances, he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad."

It's strange, but right before I go to bed is when I am motivated the most. I always go to bed wishing I didn't have to. This usually causes me to delay my bedtime by a couple of hours later than it should be. As soon as the alarm goes off though, I wish I had gone to bed earlier.

I often wonder if this feeling of ability is what people talk about when they mention the youthful feeling of invincibility. I don't feel invincible. In fact, I know I'm not. I've gotten my ass beaten enough times to know. So maybe it's not an issue where I don't have fear, I just don't have a fear of failure. I do worry though...

Alas no, this does not mean I have passed my PFT. I jsut decided that a good way to stay motivated was to drag everyone else into the pit of hell with me. I'll probably have my next PFT sometime around the middle to end of August. frickin yay.


Evening PT:

Run: 1 mile - 6min mile; 3/4 mile - 8 min mile; 1/2 mile - walk


Completely irrelevant thing: If you are looking for a good P2P program but don't want to deal with spyware, try Ares. it works well on my W2K station and it has No Spyware!

Morning PT:

Pullups: 15 8 4
Run: 2 miles, alternating 1/2 mile at 9 min mile and 1/4 mile at 6 min mile
Situps: 50 40 30 20

Oorah!

"Most people can't think, most of the remainder won't think, the small fraction who do think mostly can't do it very well. The extremely tiny fraction who think regularly, accurately, creatively, and without self-delusion-in the long run these are the only people who count..." - Lazarus Long in Robert Heinlein's "Time Enough for Love" page 396

I do truly hope that I am one of that tiny fraction. Although the situations I get myself into at times may dispute the fact.

First things first, I feel I need to respond to the comments generated by my previous post.

First of all, I was not trying to insinuate that all men should be hardasses and all women housewives. I was trying to point out that these are the traditional role models that I grew up with and now they seem horribly outdated.

Secondly, I already asserted that women can be strong. My question was: Since men are traditionally the strong ones in the relationship, now that women have become stronger, what do men do?

Third: Having a sexual role is very important to any sort of self-identity. Look at all the people in the world that are transgendered. Are you going to tell them that it's not a big deal? Society has always conceeded that men can do women's jobs, they just thought the man that did them was less masculine (they did not feel the same way about the inverse). Reiterating point number two, since I was not brought up to deal with a woman who can do my job, how do I feel about it? What then do I do? What makes being a man special?

Fourth: By abolishing differences between sexual roles (i.e. eventually having no difference between the sexes) will in fact make us asexual. Myabe not in a biological sense, but then again I have not been speaking in a biological arena, only in a sociological one.

Fifth: I never said that women were weaker. In fact, I believe that I painted women in a very good light. Women are amazingly strong in many ways and in the past century they have advanced themselves considerably. However, this argument is again null unless we bring biology into play. In doing so, (contrasting the argument on how a man would handle a pregnancy) we would have to start comparing physical attributes. For instance, I have known many strong women, some of whom are excellent fighters. However, biologically I am better suited to being in a fight than them. I have the upper body strength, the testosterone, and a body more resistant to damage (than the average woman). Yes there are biological differences. That is not the point of my rant, if it were, it would be a lot longer. I agree that you cannot easily seperate ideas of gender in a sociological context from biological roles, but I was doing my best.

Lastly, if we really want to, we can examine biology in relation to gender roles. Very well. Women are made to be emotional (estrogen) and to have babies. There. That is the caveman's purpose for women. Men are made to be strong enough to protect their mates & their offspring when a frickin sabretooth tiger attacks. That was the ancient purpose of our society and in a lot of ways it still is. The ultimate purpose for life is procreation. Now I am not saying that all women should stay home and raise babies. I was making a comment about the state of the universe. That's the truth and if you don't like it cause it's ugly, bugger off.

Now that we are beyond cavemen, our population levels have reached points where we really don't need everyone procreating (and to be honest I think it would be best if not everyone did) and we don't really need men to be ready to kill tigers, what's the point? My basic premise is that in living our lives as humans, in a modern era, we are forced to redefine who and what we are. What are humans? Since a woman can do everything a man can do except for in the most physical aspects (infantry, heavy construction, etc...) my definition of manhood has been abolished.

It now seems that there is a spectrum. On one end, women are the only ones who have the capability to give birth. Mid-way the average business role that a man or a woman can do exists. On the other end are jobs that only a man can do (or very strong women). So you see, the need for men to uniquely male qualities has gradually been eroded. Everywhere the media tells me that being a man is wrong. That I need to "communicate" and be "sensitive". It is no longer okay to possess definitively male attributes. So now what? A man's place is no longer secure. I am not saying that we need to repress women, but we do need to have a slot for me to do. Why should I enjoy doing a job that anyone can do? Why should I care about anything if the unique qualities that I possess do not help me do it.

I realize that I am ranting and I will come back in a few hours and edit.

So I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a man. I certainly don't want to be like my father, yet I lacked and still lack a decent idea of what to mold myself into. I won't deny the fact that my joining the military has something to do with proving my masculinity. I read an interesting story today. The author talks about why he joined the Navy (Vietnam era). Read it yourself: here. I can sympathize with a lot of his reasons. He talks about playing "war" as a child in the backyard. I did that with GI Joe and sometimes in an Army uniform I got for Christmas (I even had a toy M-16A1). He goes on to talk about how he joined the Navy in order to prove to himself that he was a man. That, I can really sympathize with.

It seems to me that with the female gender transition, the male position is erased or at least brought into question. Women in our society have transformed themselves from housewives and homemakers to stockbrokers and auto parts makers. The gender roles that I grew up with are cast out some obscure Victorian role. With women changing their role, what reason does a man have anymore to complement his female counterpart? What role is left for a man in this society? Are we moving towards a society in which gender has no meaning? Will we eventually become asexual? In the meantime though, what the hell am I suppsed to do with myself? Am I supposed to become a hardass like my dad? What effect will that have on any chance I have for lasting happiness with a woman? Pretty drastic I think...

Okay, so some things I've learned about Carrollton:

1. The town is full of Rednecks.
2. The closest bookstore is 30-45 min. away
3. There are two blockbusters up the street from me. Less than 1/4 mile apart.
4. There is no Wolf Camera in town. I have to go to Eckerds.
5. The largest Movie Theater is an 8 Plex.
6. For some reason my stove does not work...
7. The gas station up the street charges $4.60 for a pack of cigarettes.

Okay... Can't sleep... I have now accepted $5,500 in aid for the coming school year. Wow... $3,500 of this is in loans. $2,000 in Work-Study. Now it's time for some Bushmills & Pizza so I can get some sleep.

*Intro: Since I have now moved from my home in Athens, GA to Carrollton, GA for purposes of finishing school, I have no life. I will try to write a little about what is going on in my life in order to keep some sort of link between me and the people I love.*

Well, I finally got my internet access up. The cable guy was supposed to be here yesterday, however, he decided he just wouldn't show up. I called this morning and bitched at charter so he came this afternoon. Other than that, everything is going well, the apartment is coming together, my financial aid has come through and life is peachy. I'm kind of numb right now because I feel at ends. I stayed up waaay too late last night putting stuff away and I didn't get up to PT. So it's been like a week since I've worked out and I feel like a sloth. My mind is going to mush so I'll post more tomorrow. As an ending note, it's interesting to note that the cable here has a Catholic channel. 24/7 I can tune in and listen to theology. It's perverse, but I kind of like it.


Oorah!