Regrets are the salt in the wounds of my life. Every so often (about every week or so) I find myself going through the mistakes I've made in my life and trying to figure out where I went wrong. I've got most of them figured out...but that doesn't help. People say that everything fades with time. Yet the only thing I feel is that I'm getting farther and farther away from that point where I could have done the right thing and not screwed up. These nights (and oh yes, they are always nights) are always the ones where I'm sitting alone by myself pondering life in it's infinitesimal idiosyncrasies. I wonder if people are right and eventually these wounds heal with time... or will they just continue on the path that they are always on. Maybe that's another reason for joining the Marine Corps. So I never have to truly be alone ever again, I can always have a huge family surrounding me. I can always feel supported and re-inforced in my decisions by this body of men. To again quote Neal Stephenson:
"Shaftoe's tattoos were obscured by civilian clothes and his haircut grown out. But he only had to look a Marine in the eye from a stone's throw, and that Marine would recognize him for a brother in need and open any gate for him, break any regulation, probably even lay down his life." - Cryptonomicon p.610
Maybe that's the true meaning of life. Finding a way not to feel so alone. Or maybe it's more of an "us against them" mentality. So maybe it's not just the lack of loneliness, but the availability of an enemy as well... ???
"The General was running for president, and in order to win he was going to start throwing battles just to make F.D.R. look bad, and blaming it all on the Marines. And if that didn't work he'd come back to the States and stage a coup d'etat. Which would be beaten back, aginst enormous odds, by the United States Marine Corps. Semper Fi!" - Cryptonomicon p.610
"Shaftoe's tattoos were obscured by civilian clothes and his haircut grown out. But he only had to look a Marine in the eye from a stone's throw, and that Marine would recognize him for a brother in need and open any gate for him, break any regulation, probably even lay down his life." - Cryptonomicon p.610
Maybe that's the true meaning of life. Finding a way not to feel so alone. Or maybe it's more of an "us against them" mentality. So maybe it's not just the lack of loneliness, but the availability of an enemy as well... ???
"The General was running for president, and in order to win he was going to start throwing battles just to make F.D.R. look bad, and blaming it all on the Marines. And if that didn't work he'd come back to the States and stage a coup d'etat. Which would be beaten back, aginst enormous odds, by the United States Marine Corps. Semper Fi!" - Cryptonomicon p.610
