A cry for attention
Still haven't had a cigarette. I've only used two pieces of Nicotine Gum today too. My cravings are not constant but merely spikes in the day. If I hold out for ten minutes the craving goes away. It's now 6:30.
Feeling pretty lonely today. Don't know why. Probably because I haven't spoken to anyone. I feel like Carrollton is wearing me down. Everything here is so transient. It doesn't feel like home. Athens feels like home damnit. Maybe I feel this way because I've always thought of Carrollton as a temporary prison sentence. Maybe if I embrace it, I'll feel better. But then again, after next April I'll never return here.
I remember as a young child no place felt like home. I thought moving around every few years was normal. I didn't know anyone that stayed in one place. All of my friends were military brats. I remember the first time I felt like Georgia was my home. It was 1996, my family and I were returning from visiting family and I distinctly remember seeing the Georgia border approaching through the windshield. At that moment it felt like I was coming home. I haven't had that feeling in a long time. I don't know if I even remember what it was like. Joining the military I'll probably never feel that way again. Usually I'm okay with this. Usually I'm comfortable anywhere. I've been in some weird places on the far side of the world and felt at ease. My currently down emotional state is causing me to worry I think. I'm rambling now so I'll go back and do some reading.
Feeling pretty lonely today. Don't know why. Probably because I haven't spoken to anyone. I feel like Carrollton is wearing me down. Everything here is so transient. It doesn't feel like home. Athens feels like home damnit. Maybe I feel this way because I've always thought of Carrollton as a temporary prison sentence. Maybe if I embrace it, I'll feel better. But then again, after next April I'll never return here.
I remember as a young child no place felt like home. I thought moving around every few years was normal. I didn't know anyone that stayed in one place. All of my friends were military brats. I remember the first time I felt like Georgia was my home. It was 1996, my family and I were returning from visiting family and I distinctly remember seeing the Georgia border approaching through the windshield. At that moment it felt like I was coming home. I haven't had that feeling in a long time. I don't know if I even remember what it was like. Joining the military I'll probably never feel that way again. Usually I'm okay with this. Usually I'm comfortable anywhere. I've been in some weird places on the far side of the world and felt at ease. My currently down emotional state is causing me to worry I think. I'm rambling now so I'll go back and do some reading.
