A Long Way From Anything

Story from this past weekend. As a bit of background, I hope you all realize that everything in the Marine Corps is done at a run. I mean everything. Saturday night we were eating chow (the only time all weekend we ate anything other than cold MREs) and after getting your food you ran down a small hill and sat on your ruck to eat. In doing this you had to pass the DIs whereupon you were supposed to say either "Good evening Sir!" or "Good evening Ma'am!" or some combination of the above. I did it, went smoothly. Some poor bastard from my platoon though was running by, said "Good evening Ma'am!" (to the only female DI we had - admittedly, she was gorgeous) but then he tilted his head. Ever so slightly...here's the dialogue (BTW, everything is a yell in it - there is no normal level of speech in the Corps):

Candidate: "Good evening Ma'am!" (tilting his head)
Female DI: "Get the fuck back here! Who the fuck do you think you are? Why did you tilt you head at me?"
Candidate: "uhhh...Ma'am, this candidate did..."
Female DI: "What are you? Fucking English? Tipping your fucking cover at me?"
Candidate: "Ma'am, this candidate did not...."
Female DI: "Are you hitting on me you piece of shit? You think I'm gonna waste my time on a little puke like you?"
Candidate: "Ma'am, this candidate didn't mean..."
Female DI: "I don't care what you mean you little pervert! Get the hell out of my face before I kick the shit out of you!"

For the rest of the weekend, we called that poor guy English...For us, that was some of the best entertainment we had all weekend. More stories to come...for instance, how I acquired my nickname "Cool Guy". And how one of the guys in my Squad Bay admitted he likes to have sex with sheep...good times...

This entry was posted on Monday, April 05, 2004 at 9:30 PM.