A Long Way From Anything

If you're interested, I recently wrote A Secular Argument for the Morality of Homosexuality. Don't know what I got so far...

Yeah! It's finally cool enough to wear pants! Or at least The Weather Channel says so. I can't believe it! It actually won't hit 80 all week long! woohoo!!!

woohoo! Nothing like a bottle of whiskey to liven up a boring night! And in case you missed it, I recenetly rediscovered Hsing Lee's An Interview With Orwell. Excellent reading for drinking. Or maybe the other way around?

I find it humorous the way the human mind works. Such a jumbled machine of intuitive power. So, I'm sitting outside in the quad between two of my classes and I'm just daydreaming. Not really thinking of anything, just kind of spacing out, listening to some of The Wolfetones on my Mp3 player. And then it hits me.
A revelation.
A ray of sunshine striking my head.
I realized why two of my ex-girlfriends got mad at me (not in general rather a specific instance in each case). Completely different situations, yet the same cause. So here I am, distant from the tempers of these women, and now it hits me. They got mad at me because they thought I didn't care about them. I did something that made them think I no longer cared for them. Not that I intended it that way, or even thought that they might take it that way, but they did. I hope that this epiphany stays with me and prepares me to deal with future troubles better. It also impressed upon me how important it is to let the people in your life know how important they are to you. In both of these cases these women meant a great deal to me yet I wasn't able to clue into the fact that all they wanted was love. Makes the world go 'round.

Two occurances that prove I am truly a geek:

1. I was watching C-Span the other day (as if that's not proof enough), when I caught the remaining few moments of The Prime Minister's Questions. A lovely little program where the entire House of Commons can ask anything they want of the PM. Now I knew this existed before, but I had never actually watched it. It was fascinating! It's like Jerry Springer for intelligent people! The represenatives actually booed their own Prime Minister! Man I wish we had something like that. I don't think Bush would live very long though...

2. I was wandering around the library the other day and finally located the Philosophy section. Wow! I'm in heaven! I immediately checked out 3 books and proceeded to almost miss the rest of my classes. I tried to relate this fascination to some of my classmates but all I recieved was blank stares. It's a strange feeling when someone actually asks you "Why do you go to the library? Isn't it boring?" and you have to try to explain to them how much wonderful information is stored in all those dusty volumes. I would venture to guess that I have my genes to blame for this (thankfully) socially distancing trait. It's really quite insane how excited I am over my ability to read all of those delicious tomes. I think most of my fellow classmates would consider me afflicted with some strange disorder. Their loss though. I still love books.

So there I am today, driving back home from my classes, listening to a little NPR. And then they say it. They've discovered the fossilized remains of an RUS. Can you imagine it? A frickin huge rodent? Flash back to the late 80s and The Princess Bride. "You know, if you want a picture of what this animal looked like," says Sanchez, "picture a guinea pig the size of a horse."

Man, the world is a strange place.

Response to Heather's Comments (What can I say? She knows what buttons to push):

1. True, I have not often had smart girlfriends. I have been working on changing that. I believe my track-record shows at least that much. Progress may be slow, but it is being made.

2. Conversation wise, I have always been able to hold a conversation with my SOs. Maybe they were not the most meaningful, but they did happen. I often find that I meet people who I cannot get past small-talk with. I met a girl the other day that was like this. We just kinda stood there and stared at eachother. There was absolutely nothing common between us. Again, I would like to think that my track-record is improving on this.

3. Lastly, it's not like I'm shipping out tomorrow. True, I have been worrying about a long-term relationship for some time now. Should I even try? I'll only be living here in Carrollton for another Year and a half. At that point, I give up my apartment, move everything I own into storage and actually go off to Quantico for 9 months of TBS. So should I? I think yes. I have had meaningful relationships that didn't last for over that time. I'm not looking to get married or anything, just to... I dunno. Just to have I suppose. I need to figure out what I want. Possibly, that's the first step.

Interesting day today. I had a run in with my "first-kiss"... The girl that first kissed me... Wow. Well, at least the first girl I can remember. With my memory, there's no telling what could have happened before. I could have been partying with Wilt Chamberlain and not remember it. I would have had to have one hell of a fake ID though. She gave me her number and told me to call her. Jeez. What a strange world.

I find that I want to forget everything I did from the age of 18 down. I think there should be some sort of "minor's rights" thing where everyone has to forget every stupid thing I did before then. Because believe me, I did some stupid and pathetic shit. I mean damn, my parents should have locked me up or something. For my own good. I had no idea what I was doing interacting with society. Even today, I was caught off guard and made a fool out of myself. How is it that women have this power? To turn a guy who is pretty popular, an officer of several campus clubs, who has no problem with public speaking, and overall pretty decent into a blubbering idiot. Do they have secret "Women's classes" when they are little? Does their mom come in and tell them, "Ok honey, here's how to bypass a man's brain and go directly to his dick, thereby rending him a complete idiot and fool". Sheesh. I am a dork.

Wow. I am a dork.

So what has been happening to me you ask? Well:

I have now joined the West Georgia Philosophical Society and I am currently the Vice-President.

I have joined the Judo Club and I am currently the acting Public Relations Officer.

I have been working my butt off in school.

I have been working out like always and I am fairly pleased with the results.

So overall, it's pretty much what everyone expects me to do. Well, excluding one thing: I haven't dated anyone. I'm not sure I want to though. You have to realize that this is the longest break in my sexual activity since I was 16. damn. 6 years. I feel old sometimes. But I have been without anyone that I could call a significant other for almost four months now. A third of a year I have been alone. I would like to think it's having some effect on me. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what has made all of my relationships go bad. I've also been thinking about what I learned from each one. And I've come to this conclusion:

Women are wonderful creatures.

It's scary to think what the odds of finding someone I'm compatable with are. First, you have to reduce the number down to women in and around Carrollton: ~5,000. Now reduce that down to girls in my age range: ~3,000. Now reduce that down to the women I find attractive: ~2,000. Now reduce that number down to the ones I can actually hold a conversation with: ~500. Now reduce that down to the ones that are attracted to me: ~200. Now we begin to see the problem. I've got an available pool of 200 women to draw from. And from this number we still have to exclude those that are already in a relationship. So the number becomes about 20 or so. Why? Because if a girl is pretty, smart, and sexy, I figure she'll be snatched up. I often wish that I went to a bigger school now.

Something from thelizman (not that I agree with it all, but I like it):


"In general, people ask my why I wanted to join the Army, I tell them because I have a deepseated and overriding need to break shit and blow people up - and that the military is the only profession that respects that. The reactions are always interesting. Most people laugh, some nervously. Some genuinely chuckle - these are my kind of sick-o's. I never really tell any of them the real reason."

...

"I go to work, so I can earn money, so I can pay for a car, so I can get to work, so I can earn money, so I can pay for an apartment, so I have a place to shower, so I don't stink at work, so I can make money, so I can afford to go out at least once a week, so I can meet a chick, and tell her all about my job, so she'll dig me, and we'll have sex, so I'll have something to talk about at work...."

"The most dangerous thing I ever did was realize that career is worthless. We are not "the job". We are not the things we own, or the money we have in the bank. We don't live our lives, we buy them. It's sold to us by MTV, Coca Cola, and the nightly news. Good Morning America wants our trust, because they care about us. Bullshit. "

...

"Why did I join the military? It may seem simplistic, but I want to be a hero. If the most heroic thing I do in a given day is mop a floor, or turn a wrench, it'll still mean more than an entire day of hacking code for a yankee capitalist swine."

Una salus victus nullam sperare salutem

So I was watching the news tonight and a story came on about Athens and about how now they have those "Donate to the Homeless" meters. It was very strange watching it and seeing dowtown Athens in the background. When I lived in Athens, I always had a love/hate relationship with downtown. I can remember so many horrible things that happened to me down there. I remember (a long time ago) M- taking me out and us a starlight walk around the water foutain on North Campus. I remember gettting drunk in The Globe too many times with too many good friends. I remember trying to sober up in the Grill. I also remember almost getting arrested a few times. I remember several fights that were avoided. I remember getting stuck in the rain and having to run all the way across downtown to get back to my jeep. Overall, considering everything evenly, I had good times.
So back to the newstory. So I'm watching it and remembering all of these things and I feel kind of sad. It's really depressing to realize that since I moved here I have not really had any fun. Oh sure, I'm not spending much money (but then again, since I don't have a job I'm not earning any either). But MAN! I get bored of staring at the walls of my apartment sometimes. I figure once I can get involved in a few more clubs and I actually succeed in getting a job (which means probably in Douglasville or in Newnan either way a 45min commute) my life will be more complete. So now, in essence, I'm waiting for life to begin. twiddling my frickin' thumbs. yay.
You would not believe how many books I've read in the past month though... So being a hermit is good for something after all. Well, that and I've been working out like some sort of beast. N- would be proud of me.

Propaganda

This is what I wrote for my "Why I want to become a Marine Corps Officer" 100 word essay (Basically, how I plan on kissing the ass of a bunch of colonels). There are two. Tell me which one you like better:

EDIT: it has come to my attention that some people have copied the essays from this blog and submitted them to MCHQ. Sorry, but if you can't be bothered enough to write 100 words, you're too stupid to exist in my book. I removed the essays because of people like you. Now go screw yourself you plagaristic piece of crap.

#1
100 Word Statement
Why I want to become a Marine Corps Officer.

#2
100 Word Statement
Why I want to become a Marine Corps Officer.

Hi sports fans!

Well, I'm up burning the midnight oil for a lovely little German Test that my teacher is screwing me over with. Hmmm... and I just got the book today because the On-Campus Bookstore has been out of it and refused to order another copy for me!! grrr... Another formal letter of complaint. Gee... I seem to have a nack for finding situations like this. It seems like every week or so I'm firing off a letter. Anyway...

German Word for the Day:
Die Lieblingsbeschäftigung

It means "Favorite Activity" Gotta love those 50 character long German words.

Otherwise, everything is peachy, but very busy. Maybe this weekend I'll have some freetime. Oh yeah, remember when I said school was easy? Yeah, well, shoot me next time I say that. jeez...